Len Kagamine dreams a dream
by convoluted disillusions
Summary: "..." "..." "YOU DISGUSTING PIG!" A short story revolving around hormonal teenagers and rambles. Rated T for excessive cussing, sexual innuendoes, and a lot more T stuff. Yeah. Rin/Len, with a lot of mentions of Kaito.


_She arches her body towards mine as she moans - my hands roams her back, itching to touch her skin, her sweat and dear god, her **everything**. I gasp as she bites and nips and licks on my neck, and I grunt before we reach our limit._

_"Aah!" She screams in my ear. I grab her smooth blonde hair and force her to face me. I stare into those blue orbs before they close as she screams again - but this time, it's louder. Those blue orbs, so strikingly similar to those I have grown up with, yet something feels so unusual, so wrong._

A young blonde teenager suddenly rose up from his bed and realized what just happened. Did he just...?

He removed his covers because he felt hot, only to see his not-so-little buddy that stood there with all its glory. And also the fact that there was a wet spot on his pants right above his junk, he screamed.

* * *

"Rin!"

I turn my head to the source of the noise - which was to my right, my friend, Miku Hatsune.

"Huh?" I mutter, when I realize that she was rambling about how her perfect boyfriend (and also my second cousin), Kaito, looks so perfectly handsome in his school uniform. But then I choose to ignore her because thinking my cousin is handsome is, one, gross, and two, gross. Because he is weird. And also, he is my second cousin. And he is weird. Why? Because he is the only second cousin that willingly flirts with you in front of your relatives. He might be adopted, or transported from a nearby planet that think it's totally normal to whisper sweet nothings to your second cousin's ear. And to top it all off, our relatives love it. They think it's adorable and I actually want to puke my guts out because this is Kaito and he's gross and weird and _also my second cousin_.

"You were staring at Len again, Rinny-bear," Miku coos suggestively. She knows that I have been crushing on my best frenemy ever since kindergarten, when he put a live frog in my lunchbox. I guess I am kind-of a sadist, after all.

"I was thinking of 101 ways to murder him, Miku,"

"Please. You had hearts in your eyes,"

I give up and I slump over to my desk. I groan. "Shut up." Oh dear god, did he finally know about my super secret crush on him and now he doesn't want anything to do with me? The only person I told was Miku, and I swear if she told him, I have extra ways for slow murder reserved just for her...

"No, Rin. I did not tell Len, and please stop narrating your thoughts."

* * *

I am now sitting in a lunch table with our gang and it is the most awkward lunch I have ever spent. Len is seated opposite me and he's sneaking glances at me. It would start when he looks at me, and I would feel his hard stare. I turn to look at him in return, but then he cusses and bangs his head repeatedly on the table while saying something along the lines of, "That was so wrong," and "You're gross, Len. Forget about it,". I am actually worried that he might get a concussion and die before his time, but then my darling of a second cousin sits beside him and talks to him. They have a heated conversation about god knows what and next thing I know, Len is whispering something to baKaito's ear.

And when Len finishes whispering, my dear cousin laughs like there's no tomorrow.

No, that is the understatement of the year, because he almost literally "LMAO"'s when he starts clapping his hands like a retarded giraffe and jumps up and down on his seat. Beside him, Len Kagamine, the resident play boy, is blushing profusely. So hard, that I'm actually feeling sorry for him. He just looks so, _so embarassed_. IS THE WORLD FINALLY COMING TO AN END? NO, NOT YET, I STILL HAVEN'T WATCHED GOSSIP GIRL'S FINALE!

"Miku, Am I fucking dreaming? Or am I high? Oh god, I took drugs! My parents will fucking disown me, and I'd be living on the fucking streets! All the efforts for my future, wasted because I smoked pot, or something. Jesus Christ, I don't even know how to fucking smoke pot! Don't you need fucking Bong, or something? Or is that a completely fucking different drug? Or maybe I owed the drug dealers a whole lot of fucking money and I couldn't fucking pay for all the fucking drugs I smoked because, well, I'm still a fucking teenager that _isn't supposed to be doing fucking drugs_ and they come here in a minute or two to beat the fucking money out of me, in which they don't succeed because I fucking die instead. And I'm in heaven and they're replaying the moments right before I fucking die. Dear Lord, I'm in fucking heaven! I shouldn't be cussing so fucking much!"

* * *

"So, I had an epiphany while you were having your rant of a lifetime," Miku looks up from her phone, a mischievous glint in her eyes. Damn, I never liked those.

"Oh? Care to explain?" I gulp. This always had something to do with some horrible punishment that usually had been associated with my weird phobia of animals that only Miku knows of. And her boyfrie- I mean, personal minion.

"You and loverboy are locked in a room together, and I won't let you out until you resolve that problem of yours,"

"That would be awkward." I point out to her like it's the most obvious thing on Earth. Because it is. Have you seen us when were eating lunch? Goodness, he was stealing glaces. At _me_. This is Len we are talking about. He would shamelessly flirt with me until I would get embarrassed to the point of kicking his crown jewels, or stomping his stubby toe. Or both.

"Geez, you guys act like a married couple still in their honeymoon phase, but you bicker like Ron and Hermoine. You have so much chemistry, the whole periodic table is put to shame. It just takes one to man up and reveal all those pent up tensiom to be able to kiss and make up~" Miu sings in an annoying tone.

Annoying because none of that is true. And because I hate Len. I haven't liked him ever since I was kindergarten and I absolutely did not have dreams of him marrying me and having 3 children, named Ren and Lin, our twins, and Lily, our adoptive daughter. Ren would be the witty and sarcastic and the straight-A student I am, and Lin would be the whore of a man Len is. It's about time the world finally got a taste of bad _girls_. Boys are getting too cliche. And then Lily would be our perfect (step)daughter. She does the chores for me, and she cleans after Len when he gets wasted from all the beer he's consuming. But then, her real parents come back, named Alex and Lisa because they're American, and she wants to go with them again, no matter how much pain they'd cause her when she was growing up without her real parents.

Oh poor, poor, Lily. I'll miss you.

"As much as I'd like to help you plan your future with Len, I have to meet up with Kaito." Miku says before packing her things. I groan at her.

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because?"

"Uh... because um, he's my boyfriend, and I have every right to get all his attention and show him off to other girls?"

"You said the b-word. You are gross. Leave my sight, woman."

* * *

So, somehow my fateful encounter with what seemed to be Miku's warning for what's about to happen, becomes true and I could practically hear my mother screaming because finally, her Rin and Len fantasies are coming true. I snort.

"What are you snorting at?"

Yes. Len is talking to me.

Yes. We are locked inside my room.

Yes. Miku's plan actually worked and it had something to do with Len coming over, a "thief" breaking in our house, the words: "You two! Go to the girl's room and stay there! You can't get out until I say so!", the sound of a gun shot (but it was just really a recording of a gun shot that played really loud on a phone), Len and I cowering in fear, and the click of a lock followed by a familiar giggle.

I actually thought it would be an easier night, and I would be faced with the same Len that I saw blushing in the middle of the cafeteria. That would be better. He would be my uke and he'd tell me what was wrong and then we'd have make-up sex.

But no. God made me want to pay after all the cussing I'd done in heaven, so I am dealing with the same douche bag that gave my number to desperate old men, because he thought it was funny. The same asshole that put flour all over my face because he thinks I look prettier with it.

"Your face." Yes, your perfect face with those stunning eyes - Gross. Am I finally turning into the female version of Nicholas Sparks? I can probably write about Len's gorgeous eyes and his amazing smile for days, but- wait what? dear lord, it amazes me how much I'm wrapped around his finger. Good ridden.

I clear my throat as I say, "Your ugly face."

* * *

"So you're just going to sleep?" I whine at Len, who just shrugs in return.

"Yep. Do you have anything better to do?"

"Talk. About that thing with my dearest second cousin in the cafeteria? Len, my cousin was laughing his head off. Like he just heard the funniest joke ever and he wanted to fly to the moon. And you. You were blushing so hard, you put an anime school girl to shame. What the hell did you even tell him?"

"..."

"Wait, oh my god. Are you gay? Holy- I never saw that coming. Shit, and my cousin, too. But, um, why him though? He's so weird and loud and obnoxious and irritating and so tall. Doesn't he annoy you? Oh, uh, I realized he laughed. Um, I'm sorry in the behalf of my cousin. We all know he's a jerk, and you're probably embarassed because he's just-"

"Rin, I am not gay." he interjects, but I ignore him anyways. Let the lady finish what the lady ought to finish!

"- really, really, really retarded. Oh, and he also has a girlfriend, right? And I think he does love her too, kinda. But I guess I shouldn't judge who you love, huh? Boys are so confusing. I will never understand what happens in your heads. It's like you all speak a secret language- like, Martian, or something."

"Rin, I'm as straight as a line."

"Um, there are squiggly lines too, you know-"

"I am as straight as the Empire State Building. Now let me have my sleep,"

"Fine, but I call dibs on the bed."

"Too late. I called silent dibs the moment we stepped into this room."

"Silent dibs?! Is there even such a thing?"

"Yes. I just made it exist."

"You can't make your own words!"

"Says who?"

"Gandhi!"

"Yes, I can."

"No!"

"Yes."

"No!"

"Look, I won't mind sharing with you if you're so against not sleeping on the bed for a beloved guest,"

"Okay. But look here mister," I move closer to him, so much that I can vaguely feel the heat radiating from his body, "You are in my territory. I peed on this shit. So, don't you dare try something, got that?"

"Sure, princess," he backs off a bit- only a bit, before he starts tugging at the hem of his shirt.

"LEN! I screech, as he lifts his white shirt over his head, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING- Oh my god, are those eight pack abs? Wow. Just wow. You look fine,"

Shit. With the look he's giving me right now, I probably said that out loud. It's just, uhm, abs. His abs. I've never seen anything look so sexy. Wait, did I just call him sexy? Let's pretend that never happened. That was just a glitch in the system. Or maybe I'm getting out of character because I'm drugged. With cocaine. In the atmosphere. Like, in those gas chambers Hitler kindly offered to all the Jews. Or it was in the brownies Miku made me eat a while back. Brownies with cocaine, that's real, right? Yes, because Charlie in Perks of being a Wallflower got stoned with it, remember? Ah, yes. Yes. Thank you for reminding me, inner self.

"You also said that out loud," he looks at me with amusement, and he moves even closer, and I can't help but just ramble on some more.

"Well, uhm... This is awkward. I don't mean telling you that you're hot, because I would never. But I just can't control the things coming out of my mouth right now. I'm nervous and it has something to do with you being shirtless. Because you are half-naked. In my room. And we are alone. Oh god, now I'm getting more nervous. I'm sorry- it's just because you're shirtless and it's never normal to see their friend shirtless, unless they're friends with benefits. But nothing screams 'fucked-up relationship in the near future' better than casual sex. Right? Believe me, I've read about it in a lot of fanfictions-"

And then he shuts me up in the most convenient way possible - he kisses me on the lips.

* * *

My lips brush against his and it's the most magical thing I've ever felt in my whole life. More magical than the time I actually passed Algebra after failing numerous tests. More magical than anytime at all- because now all I can think is about how those pair of lips just feel so good against mine. I snake my arms around his neck, wanting to feel more of him and those ghostly lips. I gasp as his hands feel up my legs, and suddenly makes them wrap around his waist. His hands cups my ass. Trust guys to become the bigger pervert.

I hold back a moan as his tongue slips in my mouth. My hands tangle themselves to his silky blonde hair. I know it looks like he's eating my face off, or that he's shoving his tongue down my throat, but I moan because it feels so good.

(Although that is something I would never tell Len because he is still an egotistic bastard even though I basically let him put his saliva in my mouth.)

His hands leave my butt and he runs them up and down my sides. I shiver under his touch and he smirks against my lips. I pull away for air - because I don't want to die while making out with the guy I've liked ever since forever. I look at him, and all I can see are glassy eyes clouded with lust. Before I can say some witty remark, his lips attaches itself to mine and we continue our tongue dance. One of his hands travel under my shirt, and I sigh with pleasure.

"You like that, huh?" He says against my lips, and I just nod briefly, lust consuming me before he continues his lip magic.

And then it happens. Len slowly walks over to the nearest table, hoping to have the hottest make out session ever in the history of horny teenagers. But fate doesn't want us on the hall of fame for horny teenagers because as I lower myself down to the top of the table, my ass meets some spiky thing - my precious cactus.

"OUCH!" I yelp as I unlatch my lips from his and I fall over to my right.

"What the-"

"WHY DID YOU LET ME SIT ON MY CACTUS?"

"A CACTUS- WHY THE HELL DO YOU HAVE A CACTUS IN YOUR ROOM? IS THIS THE SAHARA DESERT OR SOMETHING?"

I pout at him as he reaches out a hand to pull me up. "I like cactuses,"

"Cacti," He corrects me. "Blah blah blah," I roll my eyes at him. He smirks as he moves closer to me. I stand my ground because I am stubborn, so we're barely inches apart.

"But you were moaning for my touch just a while ago, babe."

"..."

"You liked it."

He winks at me.

"You wish." I huff at him and try to walk away. Len chuckles at me. The incredibly good looking bastard has the audacity to laugh at me when he poked my butt with a cactus? What an ass. But before I reach the door (which was still locked, but I still wanted to try because some magical force may have heeded my prayer), hands behind me grip my waist, and I hold my breath thinking it's about to go down again.

Then the vision vanishes when he wiggles his fingers against my skin and I can't help but laugh because he- OH DEAR GOD, HE'S TICKLING ME. THAT ASSHOLE IS GOING TO GET IT. As I try to regain my strength and turn around, facing him, I grin like a maniac.

"This. Means. War." I announce as I lunge at him.

* * *

And this is how we end up cuddling on my couch, after having a tickle fight which lead to a pillow fight which led to watching "The Titanic". With me on his lap, while I trace weird patterns on his chest, and his chin is on top of my head and his fingers are playing with my hair.

Suddenly, as Celine Dion's voice fills the room, he hugs me. He hugs me so tight that I can feel his heartbeat, that I can feel his radiating warmth.

"Will you tell me now, bitch face?" I mumble against his embrace. "I swear, you have been PMS-ing for the past minutes worse than my mom ever did in her whole lifetime," I can feel him stiffen, but then he relaxes when I peck him on the cheek. Okay, that was completely out of character, but this brings a smile to his lips. He smiles at me before releasing me from his hug and letting the both of us sit properly. "Alright," he sighs.

I prepare myself for one of the darkest secrets ever in history to be revealed in this very room.

"I'll tell you, but promise me that you won't freak out?"

"Why? Is it that bad? Wait, did you sleep with Miku? But why did Kaito laugh when you-"

"No, Rin. You're rambling again,"

"Yeah, sorry. But is it that bad? I don't think anything is worse than you sleeping with my best friend."

"It's not that bad... I guess,"

"Okay, fine. I promise I will not freak out."

"Good."

"..."

"..."

I hold my breath as Len starts to talk. "A few nights ago, I dreamt about..."

He dreamt about our future and he was scared? Scared because I finally see the real him - and that he's actually a vulnerable little boy behind the horny and most of the time disgusting teenager facade he puts up? Or maybe because he dreamt about my death? And now he doesn't want to ever fall in love with me because it would cause him so much pain and agony? Oh god, the bazijillion possibilities are coursing through my brain and it doesn't help that he's fallen silent and the floor suddenly became the most interesting thing in the whole universe.

"About...?"

There is an eerie silence, and only my heavy breathing can be heard.

"Len?"

He looks at me, dead in the eye, and says with a serious face,

"I dreamt that I banged your mom."

"..."

"..."

"YOU DISGUSTING PIG!"

* * *

_A/N - I made a horrible unnecessarily dramatic one shot featuring teenagers with raging hormones.  
_

_ ... That went well. __Also, I tried my best keeping that... thing in the start as sneaky and sly as possible. And the kiss scene. I NEVER EVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE WRITING SUCH, BUT HERE I AM. IN MY FANFICTION GLORY. Shame on me, really. SHAME. ON. ME.  
_

_OH GOD CAN SOMEONE PLEASE MURDER ME? AND CAN YOU BURN MY THOUGHTS TO THE CORE OF THE EARTH SO THAT IT WOULD NEVER BE FOUND AGAIN? _

_This idea suddenly literally sprang out my head when I was watching "This Means War", and FDR was telling Tuck how he slept with his wife. And then I think, that's not so bad... when you compare it to your friend banging your own mom or even your grandma._

_Then this was born._


End file.
